Red Flags

Red flags are easy to spot in hindsight. Now I can see all of the characteristics in Vincent that should have sent me running in the other direction:

He was very angry and seemed to be proud of his Sicilian temper. His email address was “shortfuse”.
He was very controlling and obsessive and needed everything to be done his way.

He would get upset if I asked too many questions about his past, like he was hiding something.

He would break my things or throw them away if I didn’t put them away and then lie and say he didn’t to make me think I was crazy and just lost them.

He drank heavily and abused prescription drugs.

He didn’t have any friends and didn’t like to socialize.
He hated animals.

He had a “crazy” ex that he had to throw to the floor once because she attacked him. (This was Vincent’s version which differs from hers, of course.)

I rationalized all of these things in the beginning and thought I could change him and soften his heart. Of course, I was wrong.

But then, there were the red flags that I absolutely saw as plain as a day at the time and I knew in my heart this wasn’t going to work. I had to call the police multiple times before we were even married because he started getting physical with me and I knew it was just progressing and would only get worse. I couldn’t even imagine having to call the police now on my husband, Rick.

When I had to hide my wedding dress at my friend’s house because I thought Vincent would find it and destroy it prior to the wedding, I knew I was making a big mistake. I knew I was living in fear and walking on eggshells all the time. But I still went through with the wedding. And I still thought I could change him. I wish I would have trusted my gut and my instincts more back then.

What were the red flags you saw? Did you ignore them or did you just not see them at all?

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Madeline Hughes

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Madeline Hughes

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