I’m Finding My Voice….And Using It!

When I was 25 years old, I began a very unhealthy relationship with my now ex-husband, Vincent. There were many red flags that I ignored and I eventually married a man that was physically, verbally, emotionally, psychologically, financially and sexually abusive to me. He was and continues to be controlling, manipulative, bitter and angry. He is a narcissist and he will never change because he thinks he is perfect.

When my son, Devon, was born, I found the courage to leave Vincent. But, I now have to attempt to coparent with the same man that abused me for years because family courts believe children should have both parents in their lives, even if one is abusive. Vincent continues his abuse through our child in what is called post-separation abuse. He counter-parents and hurts our son in various ways in order to hurt me. He’s constantly taking me back to court for frivolous things and claims of “parental alienation” in a form of post separation abuse. It never ends. He wants to punish me for leaving him any way he can.

Fortunately, I have worked on myself and dealt with the issues that led me into an abusive relationship in the first place. I have moved on and found an amazing partner in my husband, Rick. For the first time in my life, I know what real love is. My husband is incredibly supportive and understanding. I’ve never felt as safe as I do in his arms. We have blended our families and have two more children together. This has made me realize what a truly awful partner Vincent was.

Perhaps my experiences can serve as a warning to other trusting and empathetic girls like me wondering if they should leave their abusive boyfriend or believe him when he says he will change. Maybe some of you will relate to the madness that is coparenting with a narcissist and just want to know that you are not alone. Or maybe some people want a safe place to vent and share similar experiences. I know there are many other women (and men too) in my situation and the only remedy is to speak out and draw attention to these controlling and abusive narcissists and the abuse they put us through. So, thank you for stopping by and reading this. Please leave comments, share your stories, share this blog, and ask as many questions as you want. Let’s find our voices together and bring awareness to all forms of domestic violence and coercive control so that real change can take place.