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Bandwidth
It’s been a while! Over the past few years, I’ve had trouble juggling everything on my plate. I’ve felt exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious and completely used up. Keeping up with my little ones and the stresses of our large, blended family have taken all of my bandwidth. I just haven’t had anything else to give. My cup has not runneth over. So, this site has been dormant for quite a bit. But, I’m back, baby! After a pandemic, a massive move, a 4 year court battle, a death in the family, troubled teenagers, marital issues, health problems, mental health issues, and all of my children’s events and milestones and activities, I…
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The Baptism
In 2016, Vincent filed for a Post Divorce Modification of Timesharing and Child Support. This was about 16 months post divorce and he wanted to go from every other weekend with Devon (80/20) to a 50/50 arrangement. The man that once told me I couldn’t go to the gym for an hour twice a week because he didn’t have time to babysit and raising children was a woman’s responsibility now wanted full responsibility for this child every other week. I was in shock, but not surprised. I knew it was an effort to reduce his child support obligation. Included in that modification was a request that the child could be…
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A Small Victory
We’ve been divorced 6 years. Child is 6. I have 80% custody. Vincent gets every other weekend. However, he has filed for more timesharing in the past (we settled on simply reducing his child support obligation to about 1/3 of what he should be paying) and continues the “parental alienation” narrative in every motion he files against me. There are many. We’ve been in court for the last 2-1/2 years on contempt/ enforcement matters. I won on almost everything! He was found in contempt or enforcement was granted for not allowing phone calls between me and the child, for desparaging me to the child, for denying me holiday time with…
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FACTs
FACTs (Families Against Court Travesties, Inc.) is an organization I’ve used here in Palm Beach County for my endless court battles with my narcissistic ex. It was formed by the South Palm Beach Chapter National Organization of Women. The volunteers attended my hearings and took notes. Their presence in the courtroom typically makes judges and attorneys be on their best behavior. FACTs
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Do It Yourself Family Law
Beth is a great resource for people trying to navigate the Family Courts. You can message her on her Facebook page with your questions and she will post them to her main page with her response so they are anonymous. She also offers research and coaching services. Do It Yourself Family Law
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One Mom’s Battle
One Mom’s Battle is an excellent resource for anyone that finds themself divorcing a narcissist and navigating the Family Courts. Tina has a great website and Facebook page with a wealth of information and educational packets that can be sent to your judge, anonymously. One Mom’s Battle
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New law targets abusive litigation by DV perpetrators
Many DV perpetrators like to continue their abuse post separation by dragging victims to court over and over. We need new laws like this to prevent this from continuing. New law targets abusive litigation by DV perpetrators
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February 14, 2013
February 14, 2013. That was the day I knew Vincent was incapable of love or empathy and was truly evil. In January of that year I found out I was pregnant for the first time. I was excited. I know now that my desire to have a child was an attempt to find love…because I knew that Vincent didn’t love me. You don’t treat people you love the way he treated me. But, at the time, I wasn’t as educated on the topic of narcissists and empaths and codependents and the dynamics that led me into an abusive relationship in the first place. And I was happy to start a…
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Red Flags
Red flags are easy to spot in hindsight. Now I can see all of the characteristics in Vincent that should have sent me running in the other direction: He was very angry and seemed to be proud of his Sicilian temper. His email address was “shortfuse”. He was very controlling and obsessive and needed everything to be done his way. He would get upset if I asked too many questions about his past, like he was hiding something. He would break my things or throw them away if I didn’t put them away and then lie and say he didn’t to make me think I was crazy and just lost…
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You’re so selfish!
That was one of the many insults Vincent would throw at me regularly…”You’re so selfish!” In his opinion: It was selfish of me to change the temperature in the house. It was selfish of me to leave the light on in the kitchen. It was selfish of me want to get a couple’s costume for Halloween. It was selfish of me to buy Whole Milk instead of the 2% Milk he preferred. It was selfish of me to use the oven to cook a Salmon dinner when I should have used the toaster oven which uses less electricity. It was selfish of me to make fattening foods for dinner. It…
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